Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Nightmares and Negativity

So Its 5.29am precisely as I start writing this, I've been awake for 2 hours if not longer because I was abruptly awoken out of my sleep, heart racing, disorientated, the lot!! So yeah I just experienced a nightmare, some reason lately since I've been back to London, there's been an increase in frequency of nightmares, before these episodes I can gladly say I don't remember the last time I had such graphic fear driven nightmares (I don't even remember when I had one full stop) I really wish I knew what the cause is to these nightmares, because in all honesty, I'm finding it hard to deal with them. I'm constantly having restless nights too.

Anyways as you do, once you're awake first instinct is to check your phone and do a little surfing online. I come online to facebook to be met with a status from a so-called friend bashing me about 2 hours earlier (whilst i was long asleep). Now this wouldn't of bothered me so much if it wasn't for these various reasons:

1. I've known her since about 12 years old.
2. She was coming across 'holier than thou' as if somehow writing a status about something so trivial I had written, would  make it look like she's standing up for some sort of cruel injustice.
3. The fact she posted a facebook status about me full stop. (I'm not some girl you just happen to have befriended on fb through some weird twist of fate)
4. The fact this status then entails others to comment in agreeance on how I'm this monster, I've been wrongfully made out to be (isn't that some weird fucked up way of bullying?)

Now the old me would have gone in guns blazing, 10,000 statuses of cursing, sarcasm and retaliation. But I again realised that would just wind me up more, get me nowhere and probably start world war 3!

So I decided to be the better person, I sent her a message, this to be precise:

"I would appreciate it if you don't write a status making a dig about the way i worded something i posted, using the words "real" and "man" in the same sentence is justified when referring to pictures that are pieced together of different people, or do you think someone with Gerard Butlers face, Justin Bieber's hair, Ronaldo's legs is a real human being? That stuff you were talking about only has any meaning when you aren't posting about it on a status bashing someone else, that alone defeats the purpose of your status. Im disappointed that I've known you a very long time that you would resort to something so childish. Hence why i deleted you. No doubt you will write a status about this too. Remember just how negative you come across when you post statuses about people who you call "friends" and how that makes you look. You can tell yourself that you are standing up for your beliefs but posting a status about it is hardly admiral, lets be honest. The admiral thing to have done is to have messaged me about it if you had an issue with it, which you shouldn't because if you knew me at all, which i thought you did, you know I'm not that judgmental person, you just painted a bad image of on your status. Im Sorry but I've had enough witnessing all the negativity you post about others. I hope you realise that posting on fb is how you start conflicts rather than solving anything. I wish you all the best."

Now I'm not pretending that I wasn't p*ssed off to the complete maximum (the sheer audacity) but at least (well i hope) I tried to come across as positively as one can do when they are fuming. Plus being someone I've known a while I think she needs to see from another perspective, what she is constantly doing to people she calls her friends. Plus I have every right to defend myself!

Whats amazing is after writing that, I feel at peace. So yeah, positivity does goes a long way! You can get angry its just how you express that anger, it will either make you or break you.

Peace x

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