Cherry's back from the dead!

My bad...

So yeah I went AWOL for over a year to be precise (oops..), sorry about that guys, my heads been a mess. I had graduated from uni, I put on loads of weight, I was in a dark place for a very long time, my long term relationship had ended after 6 years and I had no idea what to do with my life or what I wanted to do with my degree.

Then this miracle happened, I won a competition abroad to train in Thailand and work as as a qualified TEFL teacher, there's more on that if you check out my travel blog here.

Cue the violins...

Anyway, the real reason why I'm here is to have a bit of a bitch and moan and just to update you lot on my life, obviously a lot has happened over a year so, I'm going to try my best to compact this down as much as possible.

This is mainly going to focus on why I'm blogging again and that is because I have put a SHIT ton of weight over the past year and this is not me being a girl about it and moaning because I put on a couple of kilos. I'm talking from a UK size 12 to a UK size 18!!! I was fully aware after dissertation I was packing the pounds on, but in all honesty I had no time to eat at home, sleep a lot or leave my seat in the university library. I was really depressed and had started locking myself in my room at weekends and drinking everyday to cope (this was for various reasons, mainly because I was back on the dating scene and every bloke I thought was decent turned out to stamp on my heart on top of the stress of dissertation deadlines). I had come across one guy who was so manipulative and controlling, me being so vulnerable at the time, lets just say he really milked that situation.

Anyways back then I must have been a 14 approaching a 16. Then I won this competition thinking not to worry it will sort itself out go to Asia, eat asian food, lose weight :D During TEFL training yes I genuinely think I dropped a few pounds but it all started to pile on again when It ended :( I left England already at an overweight 89KG (which already had been the heaviest I had ever weighed), I returned back to London weighing a good 95KG.

Coming home...

Well I came back to London after experiencing more ups and downs than a yo yo in Thailand and I knew I had put on some weight but the realisation didn't hit me until I tried to put on clothes I missed wearing... It quickly dawned on me how much weight I had put on. The good news is, I was determined before getting back to London to lose this body fat I had gained. 

Pushing to the limits...

I got straight back on the clean eating and 5 day High Intensity Interval Training and at first it was fucking hard! I'm no going to lie, being pumped full of oil, refined sugars and processed food for 4 months and then going cold turkey is pretty hardcore!! It was a fucking struggle, I had mood swings because I missed certain foods, I would still give in to cravings, I hated myself in all honesty, I had left myself get that big and that weak and not even realise.

The silver lining....

So finally we get to the good part, that was 8 weeks ago now I started the process, I still go through the struggles of cravings now and again, but I have progressed!! I'm stronger, I've lost girth all over my body. Now i'm not saying that I am satisfied, I am far from it! But I am still so determined and seeing notiecable progress in reps etc. feels fucking amazing. I can gladly say I have dropped one dress size already, so I'm now back to square one where I started my fitness journey 3 years ago!! But I also forgot the uzz i get from working out and reaching a goal and seeing changes in my body.

Which leads me onto...

The Epiphany...

During this journey so far, I've noticed a change in myself I decided along with the food that doesn't belong in my diet, nor does negative behaviours. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but the changes in my mood and thinking has changed also, I'm a lot happier, I'm more comfortable with myself, I find joy in seeing others happy. Sometimes I do get hit with the emotional stick (beaten with it more like) but we all have ups and downs and how you deal and recover from it is important. I literally had an epiphany, just when I thought I couldn't be anymore positive, I was hit with this thought that totally blew my mind, when I say a thought I mean like a feeling but with more purpose. (I probably sound like i'm talking c***) It's just very hard to explain. It happened and I am astounded things could get this good.

Until the next one...

To end this ramble, these blog posts will be more of a regular thing now... I want to jot down my fitness journey and anything else that is blog worthy in all honesty!!! 

Be prepared for more positivity coming your way.

Peace! x